I am a bad daughter. Am I?

I always ask myself if I have been a good daughter to my parents. If I have been a caring sister to my siblings or if I have been helpful to my family. I believe we all do, right?  But sometimes, there are things that would make you feel like you are not. Things that will make you question about how good you have been to your family.

So, let’s not comfort ourselves with lies and let’s get down to the real thing here. Why do we feel like after all this time, you feel like you have been a bad cheetah?

1. You don’t regularly show my affection towards them. You know, we don’t usually give random hugs and kisses.  Admit it, you can’t say the phrase “I love you” directly to them which we can to our friends and lovers. To be honest, I can’t really recall when was the last time I said I miss them. Those things make you feel a little awkward for some reason, right?

But, you know that you love them more than yourself. That you can sacrifice your own happiness for them. You are concern for them and you miss them all the time. It’s just that, you’re not good with words and affections.

2. You can go on trips without them. It’s pretty normal to spend some “vacay” with your squad or with Bae. But on a regular basis? It will look like you don’t have time to spend with your family. Even some of the members from the family would ask why you have time for your friends and for your own family you don’t? Or “Why you always make plans with your friends?” And they will even think that you don’t like to be with them AT ALL.

Ugh! If they only knew that to all the places you have been, you always thought of them. Wishing that they were here too seeing the same scenery that you are seeing. Dreaming that someday, maybe one day, you’ll bring your whole family here. Experiencing the gift of nature.

3. Buying/giving “something” for each of them are not your thing. If you’re starting to earn money, for some culture, parents expect something in return. That’s at least for all the sacrifices they made. But, it’s not your thing though. Okay. Maybe because your salary is not enough to give everyone every pay day. Or at least every other pay day. You’ve been saving as well for your adventures. It may sound selfish but, you know. We’re working to get what we want and to follow our dreams too.

But,

It doesn’t mean that you’re being selfish. A little dinner treat once in awhile is enough to let them know that you’ve been thinking of them too. It’s your way of saying “thank you for everything but this is all I can (for now)”.

4. You have always been a busy bee! With all the paper works to finish, the hours you spent at your work, and the traffic jam you’ve been battling everyday, who can say you still have time? When you’re in a fast pace of working environment, you won’t realise that you have spent most of your hours working! Or doing other “important” things. You forgot to spend quality time with your family. And the sad thing is, they are starting to forget about you too (kidding!). I mean seriously, work sometimes can eat up all your time left for your family.

Little did they know, that you’re coping to finish every work tasks and responsibilities as early as you can. So that, if you have the extra time you get to spend it your family. It’s them you are looking for at the end of your day.  Even for that short amount of time, you were able to reach them out and get updated with their life. And it’s okay. It doesn’t have to be long hours, if you really have the busy schedule, an hour with full of laughter and stories is more than enough to start your day again.

I always believe that there will always be a good side in every person. And this good side sometimes, just shows up if we are with the people we love. The people that will always be permanent in our lives which is our FAMILY. There is no such thing as bad child to their parents. Sometimes, they have to see deeper to see what their child is trying to say.

Would you dare to travel with your family?

Would you dare to travel with your family?

So as you have read my last blog, my family and I just came from a vacation at my father’s province. Well, to be honest, I am a different person when traveling with my family and traveling with friends or my boyfriend. Maybe because I feel like my actions are being monitored by my family and I have to act the way I should be. No wild reactions, no nasty comments, no PDA with the boyfriend, and all those stuff. The funny part was, we argue before we left our house and even discussed about what route we had to take while on our way. And, we push through our vacation without concrete itinerary and back-up plans. It was kinda stressful at first but I realised while we were headed home that spending vacation with family is something that we should always treasure. Here are some of my lists why:

It makes our bond stronger than ever.  Despite our non-stop arguments and fighting before and during our vacation, we were able strengthen our relationship towards each through understanding the differences of every member of the family. and I believe that those circumstances make a family grow stronger together.

It might not happen again any time sooner. My mother told me once that, “you should come with us because this might not happen again”. That’s the time when I decided to be with my family on any kind of occasion or activity we are dong. Our parents are not getting any younger and might not able to travel more often and sooner or later our siblings may have their own walk of life too. Well, that would make hard to gather all at once, right?

We get to discover interesting things about our family. Even we grew up with our family around and we thought that we knew everything about them, there are still certain things that we seldom know about them. Mine was when we were on a boat ride at night, and my father told me that he memorised all the stars visible in the eyes. Even the horoscopes like Sagittarius, Taurus, Scorpio, and everything? Dang, he pointed at me from North to South! I love my Papa so much and he amazed me in every different ways.

We are able to share our stories and adventures with our family.  I am a private person when it comes to my family. I don’t get to share everything with them not unless I am too excited to tell everything. Then our vacation gave us a way to talk about our different experiences in our whereabouts. My parents shared their experience while traveling back when we are still babies and how it scared them. They even told us where the exact place things happened. It’s a great way to develop strong bond.

Lastly,

We build trust towards each other. No need to elaborate but trust is the foundation of all.

Well, that may be few of things I realised traveling with family but for me, those are the most important notes I will always remember.

“Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind” – Lilo & Stitch

My older sister's family.
My older sister’s family.

My Mama and grandchild.
My Mama and grandchild.

Younger sister and Papa.
Younger sister and Papa.

The whole gang.
The whole gang.

My sisters and nephew!
My sisters and nephew!