Isn’t it surprising that after four years or more the pain is still there and still crushing you? They say, just forgive and forget then move on. Easy to say but no matter how hard you try to forgive, forget and move on there is always a time that you can still remember the pain it caused you. You get emotional everytime and the funny thing there is no one will ever understand why you still bear that pain. People will say, “If you already forgave the person, why does it still affects you?”. Well, maybe because I can’t still understand up until now why it happened when all I do is to give what people want? It caused me so much pain that I even doubted myself. I lost my trust to myself and to people around me. So everytime I get to cross this certain person, all I can think is the pain they caused me. No good memories, just heartache. Everytime I look back I ask myself, “How can they possibly hurt someone this bad? Why they can afford to cause so much pain to a person that did nothing wrong to them? Why me?”. Sounds dramatic but damn, it lingers into my mind almost half a decade now. You see this what happpens to a person that have been hurt so bad most especially when they have high hopes to people. You might see them genuinely happy but deep inside there is always a mending heart. The pain never fades away, really. It’s not grudge, it’s just simply pain out of love. You know what’s the good thing about this? Is that you can always brave this pain.

This pain will motivate you to be a better person than those who hurt you.

At the end of the day, it’s your choice on how you will handle the pain. But just a reminder, always choose to be better and to do good.

Love,

Ai

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2 thoughts on “The P in my life.

  1. “If you feel angry for having spent too much energy on the wrong love, trust me, there is no wrong love.
    They were people whom you chose to love and at that moment it was exactly what you had wanted.”
    -Sayan Sen

    Liked by 1 person

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