To cheat or to lie?

To cheat or to lie?

Simple Definition of Cheat

  • : to break a rule or law usually to gain an advantage at something

  • : to take something from (someone) by lying or breaking a rule

  • : to prevent (someone) from having something that he or she deserves or was expecting to get

Definition of Lie

noun \ˈlī\
  1. 1a  :  an assertion of something known or believed by the speaker to be untrue with intent to deceiveb  :  an untrue or inaccurate statement that may or may not be believed true by the speaker

  2. 2:  something that misleads or deceives

I’ve been wanting to know the difference between “cheating” and “lying” because most of the time I would hear this the same lame excuse, “I lied but I didn’t cheat”. Technically, cheating is a kind of lying wherein it is for the benefit of one’s own sake at the expense of the other person. It is risking the trust of the people who trusted you the most. Basically, lying is simply not telling the truth while cheating is making the lie the truth for their own good and benefit. You lied because you want to getaway from the consequences of cheating and wanting not to get caught. Who would want to get caught, anyway? You break the rule of being open and honest to the person who have trust in you just because of your own desire. Cheating is something you do against someone else’s back in the context of lying. You wouldn’t be lying if you were not asked, right? But you know you cheated because you did something that is against to the other person. To make it simple, cheating is plainly being selfish and self-centered.

It’s pretty damn hard to accept that you have been cheated and yet you’re still there hanging around. Holding on hoping that one day, you’ll forget whatever happened. But it kept happening and happening until you notice that person is longer the person once you thought they were. Sometimes, “sorry” won’t heal everything in just a snap. Promises are sometimes like pain relievers temporarily making the person feel secured once again but after sometimes the same mistake happens again. The pain it caused can’t be healed overnight, though. It takes a lot of process, from the first few days of purely crying and asking “why” over and over up until the last day wherein you are able to trust people again with all your heart. You must be familiar with the pain but you’re still crying over the same old shit. You still can’t believe that they cheated on you after so many times you caught them. You’re willing to take the “moving on” process all over again because you have this super soft spot in your heart. The question is: why are you still here? Do you still believe that this will work once more and they’ll change from being cheater to being honest? Well, maybe there is a chance. But chances are limited. Chances are not given multiple times. Asking for chances is as hard as asking for a time machine it cannot be given in just a snap (remember: up to this day, there is no time machine). Now, you should remember that. You have to count the chances you are giving away. Don’t make it unlimited and overflowing otherwise you might be giving them the chance to take you for granted which is worse. Okay? You go, girl!

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“Honesty is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you” – Honesty, Billy Joe

Is it enough to love the person all over again hoping that eventually you will learn to let go all the pain they caused you? Hoping that they will prove to you that they are still worth your trust. Is love enough to fill up all the empty spaces that broken trust left? Is it? You come to a point that trust is simply just a word because you have lost the real essence of it and love has become an obligation to do. You are left with nothing but the pain that broken promises and betrayals have caused you. How can you move on when you are still stuck in the reality that trust is no longer there? How will you explain to everyone that love is not enough to ease all the pain?

Love won’t exist without its own elements. It is made up of different aspects such as trust, honesty, openness, perseverance, and respect. If any of these is lacking, love can’t work alone. You can’t say you love the person if you keep on losing their trust because of your own desire, because of your selfishness. How can you say you love them if you let them believe all the stories you made up just to cover up your lies? Is it love when you keep on doing the same exact mistake because you know that “sorry” will put everything back to normal again? Is that really the concept of love? I guess not. Maybe you can say you love them but you have to prove it. You have to show it. You have to make them feel it. You have to earn it. Because love alone is not enough.

Now, if you’ve been through a lot of pain because of all these dip shits, make time for yourself. Contemplate things. Rehabilitate yourself from all the lies, the betrayals, and even from the people who hurt you. It’s time to think of yourself first and love everything about you. There’s nothing wrong with that. As one of my friends told me, “Know your worth, Aira” and then I realise, fuck it! I am worth it. You are worth it. You are the best thing that anybody could have. And if that person really loves you, they will find ways to win you back. They will not just sit there and regret everything. If that’s true love, they’ll change even it means they need to start back to zero again. They will try harder to prove that they are worth having again. I think, that’s the concept of love. You gotta learn it.